So Much More
by lanya-celebrian
Summary: Axel has to cope with Roxas's sudden request to leave Organization XIII. What in the world is going on inside of that kid's head? What did he want from Axel all this time? Was he just being used? [Yaoi. AkuRoku implied RoxasxXemnas]


Summary: Roxas is leaving Organization XIII...Axel merely tries coping with the feeling of loosing his closest friend.What is really going on deep inside of that kid? Oneshot.AkuRoku fic

Warning: SLASH/YAOI. Some Axel and Roxas goodness. Smut. Explicit content! And then some. Not to mention a lot of cussing. Also, if you don't know anything about Axel and Roxas's friendship related problems from the game...then maybe you shouldn't read this either...? Just a thought...?

Author's note: I wasn't entirely sure if I should post this here. I posted this fic, on LJ and DA...so I wasn't sure if I should post it here. But I did anyway. This fic was made for Miaku. She seemed to like it, so I'm happy for that. I wrote half of this fic on the airplane on the way from the US to the Philippines. I was really sad, cause I was moving out of the country...away from all my friends and stuff. Considering my Kingdom Hearts obsession, I thought of it from Roxas's point of view. Maybe, the way I felt...on that plane...was the same way Roxas felt when he left. I based this fic on personal feelings, so sorry about the angst. The fic wasn't even supposed to be smutastic. It just...sort of happened. haha. Hope you guys like it. R+R.

* * *

**So Much More**

It was impossible. Absolutely _not_ possible. There was no way, no reason for Roxas to leave the Organization. They were Organization XIII, and the little blonde made even their name possible—he being the thirteenth member. They were a family—a careless, heartless, and notorious family, but a family nonetheless. Everyone within the World that Never Was had his or her own speculations about the boy's removal request. Of all the things a Nobody could request…how could he chose to leave? Leaving was practically the same as choosing death over life. At least if Roxas remained as part of the group, he'd have a place he 'belonged', and even a possible shot at gaining his own heart with the Superior's plans. Even the Superior, himself, was rather stunned by the kid's sudden change of 'heart'. Whispers and gossip seemed to snake themselves throughout the castle, rumors about the boy's reason for deciding so suddenly.

True, the blonde had already stated his reason before the congregation, but his explanation was all too droll to convince anyone. He had tried to explain to them that he felt as though he were being exploited…that he didn't like the thought of it. None of the Organization members could relate to this. None of them had ever seen Roxas being 'exploited', but then again, they were never around when the Superior called upon him. The leader, Number 1: Xemnas…had many ways of getting what he wanted, and he seemed to have taken a severe liking to the boy in more ways than one. Maybe he _was_ being exploited behind the scenes, but to know for sure, that was rather hard to tell.

Due to the rather droll explanation, several different speculations sprang up out of the minds of several members of the Organization. Hypotheses and apothems seemed to formulate around the equation that was Number XIII. There were three main theories that they all seemed to agree upon, though: Sora, the keyblades, and the heart. Demyx was the only other Nobody who threw in an extra theory just for kicks. The sitarist claimed to have seen an extra hooded figure amid them recently…one that he _swore_ he saw 'hanging' around with Roxas that one day. In other words, Demyx meant he saw the blonde fighting this extra guy out in the dark city during his patrol session. No one ever pays much attention to Number IX, though, but there was still the possibility that he could be right. At _least_ by a margin.

Well, for whatever reason they settled upon, however, no speculations or theories seemed to be good enough for the flamboyant redhead, Number VIII. Axel of the flame, professional in the secret art of chakram splicing, and considered to be Roxas's best and _only_ friend (if Nobodies could even _have_ friends). He could _never_ comprehend why his buddy would want to leave, no matter how rational the explanation seemed to be. They guy admired the boy in almost every aspect; watching from a far, or play along up close. They were almost always in it together, and most of the times, they were in over their heads with playing jokes on unsuspecting Nobodies. Their main targets either being Vexen or Saix…both of which were the easiest to piss off (Marluxia sometimes fell into this category also).

The point was Roxas and Axel were so close that it was hard to believe the blonde was actually throwing their friendship away…just to go on an almost 'hopeless' journey. To the redhead, Roxas was his escape from this unreal, unemotional world they were consumed in. A world forever bathed in an ocean of twilight…never reaching, never seeing even a glimmer of dusk across the horizon. The boy was different from all the others. When they two of them were together, Axel felt like he could do anything if he set his mind to it. Roxas seemed to give him a boost of not only confidence, but he also made him feel semi-complete. Almost like being alive. Being _somebody_ rather than a nobody. They could believe they could feel. Together, they could believe they had hearts…

So then, why? Why would the blonde forsake him like this…?

The redhead sat in the biggest dilemma of his entire nobody existence. Staring out into the dim horizon, he began to think. He had, in fact, been in the very same room the moment Roxas had told the Superior of his intentions to leave. The blonde had actually asked for him to come along into Xemnas's office with him, but the moment he got his point across, the boy stormed out. The Superior wasn't even allowed to utter a single word in reply! Roxas simply walked out without waiting for a response…he didn't even _look_ at Axel as he pushed right passed him. Pushed…as though he were some useless thing that meant nothing to him. Had Roxas used him…? Simply to simmer Number 1's rage?

Axel shook his head viciously at the thought. He didn't want to believe that…but then again, half of him already accepted it. He hadn't seen hide or tail of the boy anywhere since then anyway. _Where did that brat go off to this time?_ Truthfully, the redhead had already begun to miss having the kid beside him during a time like this. The boy would usually be sitting there at his left side…staring wordlessly out into the horizon with him. The presence alone was enough to comfort him, and without him there, he…

_This must be some kind of corny joke_, he told himself, denial burning deep into his flesh. Axel knew the boy well enough. He knew exactly when it was a joke and when it was not. Roxas was _not_ one to joke about this kind of thing. Least of all, to Xemnas.

Least of all…to him.

"_No one would miss me."_

Those words had struck him so deeply the moment the blonde had spat them from that childish mouth of his. It was hard to imagine how much damage those words could do to one without emotion. That simple phrase hit him so hard that, had he a heart, he would have collapsed on the spot. Begged on all fours even. _Anything_. Axel would have done _anything_ to tell Roxas up front. His Nobody existence—that cursed existence—had prevented him from screaming out. Prevented him from calling out the other's name, rushing toward him to grab both shoulders into an embrace… To whisper what he longed Roxas to hear: _That's not true_…I_ would miss you._ Those words became forbidden the moment he let them slip. Forbidden to anyone without a heart. Axel was not worthy enough. He wasn't _complete_ enough to truly mean what he said.

Roxas, in turn, wouldn't have heard him anyway. Actually, he _couldn't_ have heard him. Even with those sharp ears, and extra accurate reflexes…Roxas was still a Nobody. The redhead's words wouldn't have affected him. Not even a flinch, not even a glance. He was still without feelings…_right?_

A short sigh and a light shrug left the redhead in utter dismay. Where the little blonde had gone and hid himself made him relatively gloomy. Recently, the boy enjoyed being more by himself than with anyone else…it was hard to say when, exactly, Roxas would leave. Leaving without saying goodbye wasn't the blonde's style so he knew he'd at least be forewarned before he took off.

_Damn you, Sora, for starting all this,_ he would think, continually, knowing very well that without Sora…there would have never been a Roxas to begin with. They would never have met… yet at the same time, he would never have gotten this attached. The pros and cons seemed to weigh heavily on either side of him. It was aggravating to know that he couldn't decide how to think about this situation…about his relationship with the boy. Sure, they had met and gotten to know each other…but now, it seemed like Sora was calling his other half back to him. It was as though the keyblade master were taking back the gift he had 'freely' offered the redhead. They were now calling out to each other. Hands stretched out blindly in the direction in which their threads of fate were tied together. Axel was an outcast. He wasn't connected like they were. This calling…did not include him.

It was at this moment that he remembered the warning from his Superior way back when: "Roxas is just a particle of something much greater," the golden-eyed man had lectured, "A 'sacrifice', shall we say. Once he had rejoined with Sora, we can start claiming hearts at will…with Roxas pulling the strings behind the keyblade."

_…And then…what would happen to the Roxas I know…?_ Would Roxas even remember him once he returned to Sora…? Axel had tried postponing these questions for so long…ever since Xemnas had pointed them out to him. His own Superior wanted him to forget about the blonde: to think of him as nothing more than another Nobody…a _sacrifice_. He had been warned not to get too close with the boy, and now, it seemed, his punishment for not listening was going to be much greater than he had ever expected.

He buried his face in his hands, trying to massage his aching head. Oh, how he _hated_ thinking. This was probably the most he had ever thought in his entire nonexistent life. _All because of blondie_, he laughed in spite of his headache. _A sacrifice, huh? For the sake of all Nobodies…For even my—_

"I knew I'd find you up here."

The sudden voice startled Axel so much he nearly fell off the edge he had leisurely dangled his legs from. Upon regaining his composure, he spun around to face the unexpected visitor, utterly stunned that he had not sensed the other's presence before hand. The moment the redhead caught sight of the one who had spoken, his emerald eyes met those familiar orbs of sapphire. Somewhere deep within the redhead, something leaped. There, standing amid all the chaos going on in his mind and within the Organization, stood the recently (almost always talked about) Number XIII, in the flesh.

One couldn't possibly imagine the things that seemed to surge through the redhead at that very moment. One part of him longed to rush up and swing the blonde up into his arms and embrace him, while the other part wished _deeply_ that Roxas had already left. As much as it hurt him to know that the boy was leaving, he would have preferred him leaving without saying a final goodbye. Anything final…especially a final meeting…would leave its scars, Nobody or not.

"R-Rox…"

"Mhmm?"

No sign of farewell was plastered on the boy's features. He still wore the Organization cloak, and he stood there as if he had never mentioned a word of leaving to anyone. It was as though he were oblivious to the fact that he had rattled Axel's nonexistent being. To think that just standing there was bad enough, it seemed to get even worse as Roxas walked toward his best friend, taking a seat at his left just as he always did. Emerald eyes had followed the blonde's every movement…but those sapphire ones never stared back to assure him completely. Instead, they took an interest in the glorious view of the horizon that lay out before them.

In all truth, Axel felt miserable. Especially since he couldn't look the kid straight…he couldn't look at the boy the way he usually did. Also, the redhead knew that the blonde could sense his tension. No matter how well he could conceal it, it would leak. No words seemed to pass between them as they stared out into the forsaken city far below them. It was a painfully awkward silence, one that neither of them had ever held between them before. It was as though a gap had suddenly punctured itself into their friendship, keeping them apart despite their close proximity.

"You know, I've been thinking—"

"So, when are you leaving—?"

Both had attempted to break the disturbing silence. Axel tore his gaze away from the view to stare at the other, surprised that the blonde had stated something so obvious. Roxas's gaze, however, remained set out in front of him. _Thinking…?_ The boy was _always_ thinking. There was never a time where the redhead had not seen the kid staring out into space. Several times he even had to give him a good thwack to bring the boy back to his senses…

Roxas, in turn, seemed relatively shocked by what Axel had asked him. The very _first_ thing the redhead had asked him, happened to be the last thing the boy wanted to think about at the moment. He faked a smile, his fixated sapphire eyes drenched in severe disappointment and regret at those words: _when are you leaving…?_ He had heard that question so many times over the past day by everyone in the Organization. He was fed up with it almost. He had sworn to punch the next guy who asked him, but he couldn't bring himself to punch the one he sat next to at that moment. It pained him…having those words echo in his mind with Axel's voice attached to it. It seemed, the blonde realized, his best friend had decided his question for him already. _Just like the others,_ he thought with a shrug.

Upon seeing the boy's sudden change in stature, the redhead grew anxious. What was it he wanted to say…? It appeared as though any sense of awkwardness had fled from Roxas's façade. The tension also disappeared relatively quickly soon afterward. It was as though he had somehow pushed a large burden off of his chest. Something Axel wished he could do as well.

"_What_ have you been thinking…?" he asked, urgently, hoping the boy would open up to him again, like he usually did.

There was a brief stillness before the other replied: "Nothing." A warm smile screwed on his gaunt, pale face that refused to look in the redhead's direction.

Anger boiled deep within Axel. This was _not_ the Roxas he knew. He would refuse to believe that the boy sitting beside him was the little blondie he had always known. The boy had changed a great deal since he voiced his intentions to Xemnas… How could their friendship suddenly change in a single instance? _How?_ How could he do this to him…?

"Why are you being _so_—?"

_Mmphff…?_ Axel blinked. A sudden surge of emotion, of _feeling_, rushed through him. _What is…this?_ He closed his eyes, trying to understand what this sensation was that suddenly sent warmth through his cold blood. He accepted every bit of 'this' with absolute gratitude. _Only Roxas_…Only Roxas could make him _feel_ this way. To _feel_ at all, really. He was unlike any other Nobody—the boy still had a heart to return to. He was the only Nobody around who had an actual second shot a being alive again…being himself again. Was the blonde's connection to Sora the reason why a mere kiss brought such a surge through his veins…or was it purely because it was Roxas that made him feel destined to live again as well…?

Roxas deepened their kiss, slowly mending the gap that had injured their relationship. Idly, he trailed his hand across the other's cheek, his thumb tracing the odd tear-markings beneath Axel's close eyes. How he knew this face all too well, from its angered features to its content ones. As if by memorization, the blonde knew them _all_. He, too, had been watching Axel whenever they were together. When the laughed, when the played jokes, and even now…the boy was memorizing. Keeping in the very back of his mind that he would get the redhead memorized completely before he…

How strange that their lips should press against each other in such a forbidden fashion. Such simple movements sent shivers down the redhead's spine, returning the kiss as invisible 'tears' seeped from the corners of his closed eyes. This was a memorization game, one that Axel, himself, had constantly reminded the blonde to do in that usual cocky voice of his.

After about another few moments like this, the blonde attempted to pull away from their kiss, only to find that Axel would not settle for it. The redhead further prolonged their moment together, placing both arms around the boy's small waist, pulling them closer to one another. Face flushed, he longed for an even pleasurable sort of contact, pushing his tongue through Roxas's parted lips…how he _longed_ for the blonde of consume him.

Axel's new activity both surprised and satisfied the boy, taking this as an invitation, he used his own tongue to intertwine and join with the other's in a lustful dance. By now, all tension had been driven out of their systems…all that lay between them was this hunger that was building up deep inside them.

Placing his hands against Axel's shoulder blades, Roxas kept them apart for a moment. Their kiss lingering between them, they stared at each other—eyes finally locked. Sapphire orbs examined the other's expression, looking for any hint of regret, any hint of not wanting to be there. He didn't see any of that sort from the redhead. Actually, the blonde was relatively astonished to find the elder teen wanting to dive into another prolonged make-out session…he almost had to push Axel away to control that longing.

"W-what's…wrong?" slurred the redhead, licking his lips ravenously.

A light smile pressed against the boy's lips, happy at seeing the other this willing. Without responded to Axel's question, the boy wordlessly pulled him into another kiss, pushing his small body up against the redhead's. To ensure that they didn't fall off the building they dangled their feet from, they silently (lips still locked) agreed to move a little further away.

Upon reaching a relatively safe spot, Roxas pulled away again, this time not to simply examine his prey; this time, he had greater intentions. Chests heaving, the boy pushed the other against the cold, hard floor they sat on, and lavishly straddled the redhead as his tongue targeted the exposed neck.

"R-Roxas…"moaned Axel, his fingers curling around blonde locks as the boy worked against him.

It felt delicious, and to Roxas, Axel tasted just as delicious. Despite his childish appearance, the boy was much more experienced at this type of thing than the redhead. After his first encounter with Xemnas (of all nobodies), Roxas could have clearly said he was a natural. It wasn't something he was proud of, of course, but he had to admit that anyone would be able to satisfy him because of it. The superior was the probably the lowest thing on his list that he would have liked touch him in this manner—the last thing he had wanted to be raped by. Doing this with Axel was almost like an escape for him…how he had wondered when he would be able to try this. He didn't know how the redhead would react, so he refrained.

Now that he was here straddling him, though…Roxas felt like he was dreaming. His every movement seemed automated, and he worked as though he had known all along that this was how he was going to do it. Eventually, the boy's left hand found the top of the redhead's zipper. Gingerly he began to pull at it, revealing inch-by-inch the hot skin the lay concealed beneath it. Once the cloak had been unzipped completely, Axel shrugged it off his bare shoulders to reveal but the flimsy undershirt he had worn underneath. The blonde was much too busy licking at the redhead's collarbone and groping around the under the other's pants to take much notice of the last bit of clothing in his way.

Axel winced upon feeling the boy's hand feeling him up at all his tender areas. He had to literally fight back the urge to lie there panting from the contact Roxas was giving him. It was much too pleasurable to pass up, but he still insisted on getting the blonde to unzip his Organization cloak as well. With a relatively shaky hand, he reached out his hand for the boy's zipper.

At seeing this, Roxas only shook his head, swatting Axel's hand away from his jacket as he pulled the undershirt from over those red locks. The redhead didn't even have enough time to protest. The boy moved far too swiftly for him to keep up. The next thing he knew, his pants were clear off him, and he was lying there completely naked (with exception of his gloved hands) with a completely clothed Roxas sucking at his exposed length.

"_Ah…R-Rox!"_ gasped the redhead, his hands pulling helplessly at the blonde locks that were intertwined around his fingers. "D-damn you…I swear—!"

Tongue flicking, Roxas could only laugh to himself at hearing this. It sounded just like the typical Axel. Numver VIII would still be the same no matter what the blonde did with him…or to him. At least, that's how Roxas figured it; then again, he wasn't even close to being finished with his work here.

While his mouth lavished the redhead's partially erected member, his hands worked at massaging the insides of his thighs. Listening intently to the muffled moans and happy sighs his prey was eliciting, the blonde suckled at the head… his thumbs idly teasing the base of its length.

Sweat had already begun to drip profusely from all over Axel's heated body. Who would have thought the infamous chakram user could be reduced to this trembling mess at the mercy of a boy three or four years younger than he was? His long face was nearly as red as his hair, while his breathing was quickly going at a rather erratic pace. His lungs failed to supply with him enough air for the young keyblade wielder had engulfed his cock partially into his mouth. A loud moan that Axel had tried so hard to suppress was suddenly released the moment the other's teeth began scraping themselves against his tender area. The redhead threw his head back as the wet muscle lapped at his underside like a juicy bit of popsicle. Never had such intimacy touched his body before.

Groaning, Axel struggled to look down at the predator who had thoroughly engulfed him. He was astounded at how aroused he became by merely look at the other's tongue move in and out of his mouth so…_hungrily_. Actually, the redhead became so aroused that he could already feel the liquid building up deep within him. He was so close to releasing that he had already surpassed the precum stage within mere seconds. At realizing this, his gloved fingers released Roxas's blonde locks and urgently began clawing at the floor for support, his body trembling in horrible delight.

Tasting a bit of the redhead in his mouth made the boy grin viciously. _Come on, Axe…_ he thought to himself, his palms massaging the other's balls in hopes of getting him to release quicker. Just to be sure that he wouldn't miss a single drop, the blonde proceeded to shove all of Axel in his mouth. He then bit down on the other's hard erection, teasingly, getting a loud shout followed by a low growl in response. Roxas smirked, sapphire eyes glinting sinisterly up at the redhead glowering angrily down at him.

The glowering, however, only lasted so long. In the next moment, Axel was moaning and cussing the other's name lustfully as he released into the other's mouth. Not a single drop was missed; Roxas was left smacking his lips together by the end of it, his expression appearing relatively satisfied.

The redhead, too, appeared relatively satisfied as well… though he had almost entirely lost his usual composure. Unlike Roxas who had gotten to his feet, Axel couldn't find the strength enough to even sit up. It was as though the boy had sapped the energy right out of him…

"I-I don't think I've…ever…" began the redhead, his chest still heaving, and his emerald orbs shining up at Roxas, "…_ever_… seen this side of you before, kid-o."

Roxas merely smiled back, "I know," he cooed, "I don't think I've seen that side of me either." The boy wiped his mouth as he stared longingly back down at Axel, feeling rather envious, "…Did I hurt you at all?"

"N-no…"

"Good."

Axel laughed, but immediately stopped upon seeing the grin that appeared plastered on the Roxas's face. His smile faltered completely…a hint of worry appearing upon his brow. It wasn't just any grin…it was _the_ grin. The most dangerous sort of grin one could possibly see from the blonde—his inner evil was what Axel had always called it. An expression, the redhead had only seen there when the blonde had some sinister plot hidden behind his childish façade. He hid behind a cute mask, one that just barely covered over the potential that lay behind it. The redhead knew of what he was capable of doing…which gave him all the more reason to become at least a little bit worried.

"How did it feel…?" Roxas asked, in an interrogator's voice similar to Xemnas's

This alarmed Axel and he slowly sat up, emerald eyes never leaving those of sapphire, "_Feel_? What are you trying to get at?"

"You _felt_ somethingdidn't you?"

"Well, I—"

"_Didn't you?_"

"We're not supposed to feel, Rox."

"But you _did_!" implored the boy, accusingly, "You can't tell me what we did just now, wasn't… Nobodies _can_ feel—!"

Axel appeared somewhat perplexed by this. What Roxas was saying did have a point…but it was the total opposite of what he had first been taught as an Organization member: _Nobodies are empty vessels. Nobodies have no hearts. Therefore, Nobodies are forbidden from feeling emotion._ It was the slogan. _Their_ slogan. The one Xemnas had introduced them all to in the very beginning…

"The Superior—"

Roxas knelt on both knees and once again placed his hands on the redhead's shoulders, his expression even more determined than before, "You don't even _like_ the Xemnas. Stop acting like an obedient little puppy, Red, it doesn't suit you." Axel scowled at this, and the blonde simmered down a bit, adding, "Sorry…how do you know if…Number 1's telling the truth though? How can you agree with a plan that you can't even understand…?"

Axel shrugged his shoulders, scratching the side of his cheek not knowing what to say. "I don't think, Rox. That's your job, remember? I'm just saying things off that damn slogan." He lied. Truthfully speaking, the redhead had become even more rattled on the inside. The boy seemed to be doing an extremely good job at disrupting his senses as of late…it was beginning to get on the his nerves.

With a sigh, the redhead shook himself from Roxas's grasp and reached over for his pants. Once he had these in his possession, Axel reached out for his Organization cloak when he felt a sudden tug on arm that not only prevented him from reaching, but also caused him to drop his pants. Stunned, he turned to look at the blonde. _What now?_ His mind thought angrily, he was tired of being lectured. His emerald orbs eyed the other warily as he waited for him to speak.

"I'll prove it to you," stated the boy, his expression totally serious.

"Prove what? You don't need to prove anything to me, really. I _totally_ believe—"

Roxas moved in for a kiss, only pulling away to finish his sentence, "I'll prove to you that Nobodies _can_ feel…" At this, the boy unzipped his own Organization cloak, revealing a rather strange outfit that the redhead had never seen the boy wear before.

It finally struck him the moment Roxas began to slide off his strangely white, yet checkered jacket—the boy had planned to leave that night. This compensated for the reason why he refused to remove the cloak in the first place.

Axel shook his head frantically, stopping the boy from removing his belt, "N-No, Rox… you really don't need to do—"

"Just shut up."

This time the blonde's tongue thrust through Axel's partially opened mouth, preventing any further interruptions. It took a few seconds before the redhead finally gave in. His eyes closed once again as another wave of sensations flooded through him. A deep blush found its way to the surface of his prominent cheekbones as their lips pressed harder against each other, slowly deepening their kiss. Slowly working to close the gap that pushed its way between them. By the time the two of them had pulled apart gasping for air, Roxas had his pants clear off him and he was naked from the waist down.

Axel probably wouldn't admit it up front, but seeing the blonde half naked, like this, turned him on in such a way that made his mouth salivate at a ridiculous rate. As if he were unable to control his lust as he softly fingered the other's slim thighs, his hands instantly went for groping underneath the black shirt Roxas still wore—the boy's last piece of clothing. His index fingers were quick to find the blonde's perked nipples, and he pinched both as his head moved toward Roxas's delicate member.

Sensing Axel's ultimate intentions, the blonde slid his hands around the other's neck, pushing him downward toward where his cock laid waiting. He seemed to gasp the moment the redhead began suckling shamelessly at the head, his body hunching over in the heat of ultimate euphoria. This was _definitely_ something new. _It didn't feel this good when Xemnas did it, _thought the boy in both confusion and great satisfaction. His lip began to quiver the moment Axel attempted to swallow him completely. The redhead's tongue lapped up against the boy's underside while his hands teased in the most vulnerable spots along the sides of his body.

Every single smart spot Axel seemed to know by pure instinct, and every time he grazed over the right spot Roxas would let out an erotic moan: A moan that thrilled Axel a little too much for his own good.

Still intent on proving his theory to Axel, Roxas slid his hand down the other's back, tightly gripping against the redhead's ass. His small fingers slid between the crack to meet the hidden opening. For his free hand, the boy took delicate care in licking his index, middle, and ring fingers; completely coating each with saliva. Once that was taken care of, he found it relatively easy to slide two in through Axel's tight hole. The third finger, too, managed to slip right in, though it took a little more shoving to get it in all the way. The blonde curled his fingers inside of the other, and even made scissor-like motions in order to stretch the redhead out.

Axel tried to pay little attention to the sudden stretching going on inside of him. He winced a few times, but somehow managed to remain focused on the object in his mouth.

"_A-Ah_—Axel…" Roxas murmured, body jerking uncontrollably as the redhead scraped his teeth against his length in back and forth motions, "H-hold on…_ohh…_"

The elder Nobody was quick to oblige, removing Roxas from his mouth and then looked up as though waiting for the boy to make the next move.

Trying his best to regain himself, Roxas stabled himself by placing both hands on the floor to keep him upright. That last bit of teasing Axel had issued him took more than enough out of him, and he had to take a few moments to relax before he could make his next move. Sure, the blonde would have appreciated getting fucked by Axel, but at the moment, it was he who wanted to—needed to—do the fucking.

In another wordless motion, the redhead was once again pushed against the floor, and his legs were suddenly propped up between Roxas's shoulder blades. Axel knew what was coming next…a distinct grin finding its way across his already flushed face.

Roxas stared down at the other somewhat apologetically, before positioning himself correctly…his member aligned with the other's puckered hole.

"Y-You better bang me up," laughed Axel, half sarcastically, half not.

Roxas smirked, "Be careful what you ask for…you ready?"

"Ready…? Sure—Wait! Ready for what?"

"I'm going in full."

Axel's eyes widened at this, "_W-what_? Already—? Without lube or nothing? You _that _impatient? Rox, you have a grudge against me or something…?"

"I asked if you're ready."

"Fuck yes, bitch, I'm ready—!" Axel blinked, "W-Wait, I meant fuck no! FUCK _NO_—!"

Roxas had applied a little bit of pressure against the opening, which made the redhead panic like no tomorrow. The blonde rolled his eyes, frowning impatiently. Axel felt relatively humiliated by this…was he going to chicken out of something a trivial as this?

"Well?"

"Fine, _fine_. I'm ready…"

The boy took one final glance at the redhead before moving backwards in order to initiate a good position to thrust in completely without as many complications. Axel closed one eye, one part wanting to watch while the other wish to crawl away and hide.

"_Shit_…"

Ignoring any sort of comment made by the mumbling redhead on the floor, the blonde licked his lips and grinned. In one quick thrust, Roxas jammed his hips hard against his target's ass.

It was painful…_very damn painful_. Axel had screamed out in such a way that he appeared to be begging for mercy. He was cussing like no tomorrow, and his bottom lip, bleeding profusely from the pressure he had applied on it. The first thrust had been painful for Axel, but Roxas, on the other hand, felt like he was in heaven.

Roxas didn't slide in easily, at all, despite all the stretching the blonde had made…and it was still relatively tight inside. The friction he had caused sent tingles throughout his small body… The muscle that surrounded the boy's cock had contracted to almost their breaking point. Blood had already begun to seep outward…while at the same time…tears, _real_ tears (ones no longer invisible), rolled down along Axel's thin face.

The boy had to admit, he had not expected to ever see the redhead in tears before, much less, see any Nobody issuing waterworks. Roxas closed in forward and pressed his own lips against Axel's bruised one, trying his best to ease the pain. He moved his hips from side to side in hopes of stretching the other out, and then pulled away from their light kiss. Roxas's eyes watch Axel closely for a moment before he began nipping against his ear.

"Y-You can't tell me…" whispered the boy into the ear he was lightly attacking. His tone of voice made Axel almost melt into the floor, "…this isn't _pain_ you're feeling."

At this the blonde moved to lick the droplets that had rolled just passed the tattooed teardrops on either side of Axel's face.

The redhead shrugged his shoulders in defeat, emerald eyes looking at the gentle face that appeared so close to him now. Reaching out with one hand, Axel cupped his right hand against the boy's soft cheek, caressing his face tenderly. _This is real_, he thought, feeling slightly ridiculous at pointing this out. Of course Roxas was real. They were _all _real. Alive or not, Nobodies were real enough to be _something_…right?

Pulling the boy in for a short kiss, Axel ran his hands up the boy's shirt allowing for more skin-on-skin contact. His long, slim fingers barely grazing over the boy's hard nipples and slid along his back. Roxas, in turn, ran butterfly kisses along the other's wet neck, his hips continually thrusting forward from time to time. The younger boy was up for multitasking about now, so he also put his hands to work at pumping the other's length in rhythm with his thrusts. His all-at-the-same-time actions received wonderfully acclaimed reactions from the redhead.

Every firm thrust was received by a deafening moan, which only encouraged Roxas to move to even greater speeds. Sweat trickling from his damp hair; the blonde began panting in disgusting ecstasy. The scent of sex—of lust—was prim in the air that surrounded them. With legs trembling and his cock being pumped, Axel felt his climax closing in on him. His mind whirled in heavenly bliss as the younger boy moved about inside of him. Pressure was once again building up in his lower extremities, and he could no longer suppress the leakage that seemed to ooze along the blonde's clasped hands.

"_Mmm…R-Roxas…_" he moaned, allowing himself to ejaculate all over his bare chest.

Axel wasn't the only one who had nearly reached his limit. The blonde, wanting to enjoy their strongest high together, had begun to move in such a way that turned him passed sensory overload. In even a shorter time than his partner, Roxas had already built up the pressure deep within him. He was mildly unsatisfied that the redhead had not waited up for him when he felt cum dripping along his fingers. His dissatisfaction, though, was soon conquered when he too could no longer refrain from releasing inside of the redhead… _A-Arghh…Axel!_ The boy collapsed upon completely transferring all he could produce from his body into the other.

Gathering as much strength as he could muster, Roxas finally pulled himself out and then removed Axel's legs from his shoulders to better comfort the other. He sat upright upon the hard floor adjacent to where his partner idly lay, trying to cope with the pain in his ass and the tingling in his nerves…

"Still think Nobodies don't feel?" scoffed the boy, wiping the bit of foreign blood that had somehow spilt along the insides of his thighs.

Axel didn't respond, his mind still spinning way too much for him to neither move nor think. He simply laid their, eyes closed, still panting…trying to catch his fleeting breath.

The blonde frowned, still waiting for the other to answer his question. Seeing that he was to receive no response, the boy immediately began redressing himself in a sort of hopelessness. There was something inside of him that was empty, and remained empty simply because of Axel's disturbing stillness. It wasn't as though the redhead still didn't believe him, but unfortunately, Roxas took the other's silence the wrong way. He jumped to conclusions, thinking that Axel was having second thoughts again. Thinking his best friend had once again deserted him for that damn Superior.

The blonde was infuriated; he couldn't understand why Axel still wouldn't believe him. The boy laughed cynically, causing Axel to groggily glance over at the boy with a questionable expression on his exhausted face.

"I…I thought you were…" Roxas began, sapphire eyes glued to those emerald orbs. Roxas shook his head. He couldn't bring himself to say it.

The redhead probably would have been concerned about the blonde had he not been as exhausted as he was. He had barely even heard the other speak those words to him…everything around him was almost inaudible. Only his own heavy breathes seemed to fill his ears.

Arms lying limply against his chest, those emerald eyes began to close. Every mental image seemed to have blurred entirely. _Rox…don't leave me,_ was what he longed to say the moment his eyes began to glaze over. The last thing he saw…the last thing he remembered was Roxas standing up and walking away from him, such sadness in his blue eyes.

"_I thought… you were like me, Axe…I wanted to believe that."_

* * *

Groaning, Axel shot up, rather surprised to find a blanket over his clothed body. Actually, he was relatively astonished to find himself lying in his own room again. Glancing around, the redhead saw nothing in particular out of the ordinary. It was definitely his room, and nothing seemed to be wrong with it. _Was it a dream?_

The pain that rushed through him from his ass told him differently. He found it difficult to move around anywhere without a bit of pain shooting through him. How annoying this was!

He must have been asleep for about two hours. Roxas probably carried him…here? Wait—Where _was_ the blonde? Axel took another glance around the room to make sure he didn't miss any sign of the boy lying around. In a panic, Axel got up; trying his best to ignore the stinging that ran through his system as he walked over to the window. It was clear enough to him that blondie had simply gone and left as soon as he tucked him in…

Had the kid gone and left already…? Then what had been the point in all that…? The redhead suddenly felt like a fast food restaurant. _What did I look like to him; an eat and run joint?_ He punched furiously at the whitewashed walls of his room to calm himself.

Frustrated he teetered back over to his bed and fell into its covers headfirst. He stared mindlessly at the small table that was stationed right next to his bed for a good long moment before something caught his eye. There seemed to be something that didn't belong there, lying on the tabletop in front of his room lamp. Eagerly, Axel headed toward this mystery item and found himself holding a piece of paper that had been scribbled on in some neat writing. Roxas's handwriting.

Axel felt his hopes sink as he read the first line. It was a _goodbye_ letter. An _apologetic_ letter. A letter that talked of all the jokes they played…the times they had…and his reason for leaving. He had been right all along: _I'm going to find that thing I'm missing, wish me luck, Axe—_so, Sora really _was_ the cause of it all…

"Dammit," he spat throwing the worthless paper to the floor. It landed face down from the lettering Axel had just read from. He wanted to set the paper on fire. The rage that boiled and the jealousy that spurned deep within him made it an easy decision. Sure, it was Roxas's final note to him, but that didn't seem stop him from summoning a small flame to singe the edges of the innocent piece of paper. _I just can't…_

"DAMMIT!" at this Axel had summoned his chakrams and was about to take his anger out on the flimsy little thing and let loose… until a messily scribbled message on the back of the paper caught his attention. He hadn't noticed it there before, and it didn't seem to have any relevance to the sappy letter on the opposing side. It was still written by Roxas, but it seemed rushed, much messier, and half of the message looked erased…

_I want you to come with me. What do you—_ that seemed to be the only first part of the letter that was readable. The rest of the paragraph was illegible. There was only one other part that Axel was able to just barely read.

It was the P.S. right under Roxas's signature: _I know…you're not ready yet. So I can't bring you. When you're ready…come follow me, all right? No matter what, I'll keep waiting. Promise me that you'—_The small fire had singed the rest of Roxas's writing. The redhead cursed to himself at his own stupidity and began caressing the paper in an affectionate way. The sort of way that he would probably caress Roxas had he been there.

The redhead found it silly that his mind was wishing the paper would take pity on him and piece itself back together. Placing the paper back down on the tabletop, he realized one thing: He'd never know what the rest of that letter said…

Axel sank down onto the bed, eyes transfixed to the paper he had, just a few seconds ago, begun terrorizing. Burying his face in his hands, he started laughing. It wasn't a cynical laugh at all, really. It was a rather content one. A warm laugh that was full of emotion…emotion that he had once believed was forbidden.

Roxas had not changed. Not one bit, and that, in itself, was enough to make the redhead happy.

"You're so much more, Rox…" he murmured to himself as tears shamelessly fell from his eyes and onto his tapered Organization cloak. "Really, you're the only one who could make _such_ a mess out of me!"

* * *

Fin.

Review...?


End file.
